The Storm Inside

Titled: The Storm Inside

If you know me well... you will know that I am infatuated with cloud formations and even more so... storms.  I have been told many times that I am crazy for the random exclamations of.... "there's a duck!" or "Look at the elephant!"  while we are driving. My wife  will glance out the window looking for a loose elephant from a zoo.... or some baby ducklings walking along the side of the road... but after all these years she gets me... then her gaze turns towards the sky and just shakes her head. 

But my favorite infatuation with the clouds is when they turn dark.  When clouds start to turn ominous and pick up speed... my phone comes out and I go to an app on my phone that shows the areas of highest concentrated lightning strikes.  If it is within 10 miles.. I will get in my car and drive there and park my car and enjoy the show. 

Even though I enjoy a weather storm as described above.... there is a storm that I have been so fearful of throughout my life........ that is the internal storm.  As I have gotten older I realize that everyone experiences these kind of storms from time to time... I have been one to experience them more than I prefer.  

These storms come with no rhyme or reason.  Sure, I can sometimes blame it on different life circumstances.  Perhaps a bill might be due.  Taxes.   Rejection from others.  A health condition.  The current political debacle (argggg).  But I have discovered after many years that these storms come and go regardless of  external events.  As recent as this morning... day five of my summer vacation.... after a wonderful day of reconnecting with friends from 30 years ago.... reminiscing with my wife about this day (August 1st) being the day that we were engaged 26 years ago.  Having a wonderful conversation with our oldest daughter who is extremely happy in North Carolina..... so..... why the internal storm???   Who the heck knows?  I haven't been able to figure it out in my 50 plus years.  Everytime I go through this.. I fear that I might go back into a time period where the darkest clouds came and stayed for years... 

But today... I was able to keep my senses.  Today I was able to compare the internal storm clouds to the wonderful storm clouds of nature that I adore. I have read so many times the advice by many writers that one should  just sit and observe these internal clouds... because they will pass.  So... that is what  I did..   I didn't try to figure them out. I didn't try to push them away.  I didn't even try to ignore them.  I sat there quietly and just observed them.............  and...... an amazing thing happened.  Suddenly they weren't as ominous.    Then..... they were rolling past. What could have become a day of me turning over, pulling covers over my head to hide from the storm... or a frantic search on Google or Reddit for answers or ways to push back these clouds... I just... observed... these... clouds.   

Now.. here I am thirty minutes into almost finishing this blog.  Not only am I not hiding and wasting a complete day, but I am putting something out into the world that I know others will identify with... because I have talked with others who go through this same thing.   In a few minutes I will be getting up to a very productive day.  If the storm clouds roll back over (which they usually do) I will just simply take whatever time needed to observe them.  

I will stand in awe of the beauty of these menacing visions.   I will look for the elephant in that cloud.  Look... there's a triceratops! (Made you look) 

Can any one relate to this phenonemon? Please feel free to share your story as well. Thanks for letting me share mine

Bugs and Merlin

Do you remember watching this cartoon as a kid?  Yeah... me too. How Merlin the Magician changed Bugs into a pig.. and Bugs simply unzips the pig layer and he is back to his normal self.    We are no different.

I was thinking this morning how I don't react the same way to certain situations like I used to.  Things that would get to me and then I would stew for days... now... I might not even notice.  Or... I might notice and then realize.. nope.. I am not going to go there.  I'm changed!

Well, that is a lot like this cartoon.  Throughout our lives... we have put on certain costumes, I think mainly because of hurts, rejections.. etc.  When we put those costumes on... they were meant to protect us... so that people could not see who we really were.

Well, the Father is calling us to take off those costumes and become genuine.  Those suits are hot, toilsome, stinky.... they make it difficult to breathe and enjoy our lives.

One thing I noticed that I would do... is hold my hands on that zipper so tight!!!   I didn't want that protection to come off.  But finally, I would give in..   I would unzip it and let it fall to the ground... but then... (SMH)    I would just stand there and look at it on the ground.  I would try to remember when I put that suit on.. and who's fault it was... and how... I really liked that suit... and you know..... that suit really did come in handy.... maybe I'll keep this one around........

Another thing that would happen was..... I would unzip one costume and the one underneath looked JUST LIKE THE OLD THE ONE I TOOK OFF!!!!   So, then I would just give up and say... I'm doomed.  I'll never get all these suits off..... or... what if I finally got them off and........ I'M A TURD!

Well, now... I am finally getting it.. I need to let the suits drop... step out of them... and then swiftly walk away....

Let's change saints... Let those old clothes drop off, walk away, don't look back, and enjoy our new life  that is renewed daily in Christ!

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
2 Corinthians 5:17

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us  Hebrews 12:1

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.  Philippians 3:13

More Than A Conqueror???? Naw...... Not Me!

I am almost convinced that we will never "arrive". That we will always be working on something in our lives. We all have our "stuff". So... be gentle with others... and be gentle with yourself.

Romans 8:37 says we are more than conquerors. ....... I guess that is in our makeup. I have always thought it was a choice... to conquer or just roll over, cover my head until it's over. Hmmm.... perhaps that the same test keeps coming back around.

We were created to conquer. We have to. Perhaps that is why all these tests and trials come our way.... not for punishment. Not because we are not loved.... but because we, as humans are born conquerors! How can you conquer unless......... yep.... that's right.... unless we have something to conquer. Ok, give me my t-shirt.... Kevin The Conqueror!!!

So easy to say.. yet... harder to work out in my every day life.

I am going to try to relax and enjoy the ride!