When I Feel Forsaken

Wow... never thought this day would arrive!  

A day where I would be thankful for experiencing the darkest time in my life.  It has been 14 years in the making... but... it has come!

I won't go into details.... most of you know some of my story.   If you don't and want to know.... ask.  So dark were these years for me that there were times I wondered and I know my wife wondered if I would make it out alive.  I wanted it to just end so many times.  What I thought was my lowest time got even lower when I looked around and realized that those that I thought had my back...... didn't.    What a shock!   And boy.... when I hit rock bottom...... those rocks were hard..... and they hurt.... and they broke me.    I have been walking around a broken man for many, many years.

Now... I say all that to say this..... I have learned the greatest lesson in my life through all this.  God is for me!

When He said He would never leave me... I have found.... IT'S TRUE!    He is that friend that sticks closer than a brother!  Psalm 27:10 says   EVEN... if my mother and father abandon me.... God will take care of me.  

Sometimes it is not our mother and father that abandon us..... Sometimes it is family and friends!  But God!!!!!  God will take care of me!  BUT GOD!!!! God will take care of you!

I still deal with depression.  I still deal with loneliness.  It would take me days to get to a "good place" again when I went through this.  I would frantically look for answers in any place I could find them.  To only give up hours later and just go to bed from mere exhaustion.  

Now... my FIRST recourse is to go to God.  First thing when I wake up, I go to God.  Not out of duty or religious obligation.  I go because He is my source and my strength.  He is the One who helps me make sense out of all the craziness in this life.    I steal away many times throughout the day to talk to Him for a few minutes.   In fact,... I am typing this little blog right in the middle of one of those times with Him.  (By the way... He says hi.... and wants to remind you that He loves you and that He'll talk to you later)     :-)

I remain a broken man.... maybe never to be fixed.  But I have learned that in my weakness... He is my strength.    I have experienced what Paul says in Philippians 4:13 that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  

The dust has cleared.  The bitterness gone.  The abandonment experienced many years ago has resulted in me finding my true source of strength and the only One who will never leave me.  The only One we all can really count on!   For that.......... I am thankful!

Be blessed!

Your brother,

Kevo

Tired Of Waiting?

Tired of waiting?

Have you been wanting to do something for God?  Or perhaps you have been praying for something to happen in your life.  Do you feel that by the time it happens you will be too old?  Wait on the Lord! 

Look at Abraham.. who wanted a son.  Who had been promised descendants as many as the sands of the sea.   See Genesis 15:4,5

Abraham got tired of waiting and decided to take matters in his own hands and had a child with Hagar his wife's servant.  And we all know the problems that this act has caused! 

Wait on God.  Don't try to help God out unless He specifically tells you to.  Don't second guess God!  He is more than able to keep His promises.  Just remember...... God's calendar and clocks aren't the same as ours.   And age does not matter.

God is more concerned about the work He is doing IN YOU than any work you could do for Him.    Selah!

You Using That Mirror?

You awake?  If you are (of course you are because you wouldn't be reading this in your sleep), let me ask you a question.  
How does your face look this morning?   Some might be quick to say, "Well Beautiful, of course!" Others would just grunt, turn over and go back to sleep. 
What if you wake up and you "feel" ugly.  Or, perhaps you feel a large pimple growing on your forehead.  What would you do????  You'd  get up and go take a good long look in the mirror to see what was actually going on.
Even if you were the one who says, "I feel beautiful!"  You would still at some point check out the mirror before leaving your house wouldn't you? You wouldn't go on how you felt alone.... correct?
Well..... how many times do we wake up in the morning feeling less than optimum in our soul?  (Honestly, this is usually the lowest point in my day)
But..... what do we do... We get up....  and get ready to face the world with that egg on our "soul face".  Our spiritual eyes having this greenish/yellow crud around our eye lids.  Our inner-man  breath smells of onion, garlic and night time breath. 
Stop!  If we can take 30 minutes (or longer for some--- and some of my brothers should take a little longer)  to get your outer man ready to face the world..... Shouldn't we also take some time to get our inner man ready as well?
The correct answer would be........... Yes!

How does one do that?
I am glad you asked.... because it just so happens that I was thinking about that exact subject this morning.
The Bible tells us in James 1:23 that God's word is the mirror for our soul/spirit.
We can't truly look at our souls with our natural eyes... We need a "supernatural" kind of mirror.  Something that when we put it in front of us.... we can see exactly what we look like. 
So...... take a passage from the word of God and look at it like a mirror.  What you see in the word (the mirror) is the truth.  It shows you what your spirit man looks like.  (Our soul perhaps.... ummmmm... not so much)!
But there is hope!  (the discussion of the differences and functions of our soul and spirit will have to wait for another time)
One last point to ponder:  2 Corinthians 3:18
 And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate  the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
As we spend time pondering God's word and spend time being aware of His Presence, we actually see what our spirit man is like.  As we see what our spirit man is like .... then our soul part is changed into that same image. 
Breath mint anyone?   :-)

Without Form AND Void

How many can say this describes me either right now or at least some days?
Genesis 1:2  Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep...........
Yep.... me to the tee some days!
But look at the 2nd part of that verse..
.........  and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
It seems to me that God searches out those things that are void, dark, hopeless, down and out and starts hovering......... planning...... interjecting His love.... speaking His creative loving words........ hovering some more....  revealing.......slowly.......... drawing........ creating.......
Now.... if you think you got it all together.... that's just fine.... you can go on with your fine self......... Not me..... I want the "hovering of the Holy Ghost" over me....
Hover... hover.... hover.. hover...  a little closer...... a little deeper...... (Not a song.. but should be)
Be blessed this day..... and listen.... see if you can sense or even hear the hovering of the Holy Spirit over your life today.

Peace Forfeited No More

This hymn comes to my mind this morning.... Oh what peace we often forfeit.  Oh what needless pain we bear.

I think our concept of prayer needs updated.  My default picture of prayer is one of the old saints on their knees kneeling at an altar and just crying out and moaning their requests over and over as if God was deaf.  

My practical application of prayer is..... me.... sitting in my sling back chair in my bathroom so as not to disturb my wife and casually spending time with the God Who loves me.  Conversing back and forth.  Sometimes quiet sometimes not.  To me... this is prayer.

Back to the hymn.... last night going to bed.. .there was some unrest in my soul.  For what reason?  Who knows?  But I fell off to sleep.  Woke up this morning still experiencing this unrest.  Listening to several youtube messages from some of my favorite Bible teachers... Still the unrest remains.

Finally, I get up and go to my quiet place (the bathroom) and open up my laptop to start journaling my conversations with God (I use this technique a lot in my quiet time.. for me, it is greatly effective). Within minutes... the peace comes.  The unrest is washed away.........    and the words to this hymn waft through my mind and soul........"All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer".

Do you want Grace with that?

Facing something BIG today?

Grace...... I have always thought of grace as the thing we need to cover our sins.... that is part of it.

But..... did you realize that grace also entails:  a way of moving that is smooth and attractive and that is not stiff or awkward;   a controlled, polite, and pleasant way of behaving.   Also: a virtue that comes from God.

Thus explaining Hebrews 4:16  Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

I have always thought of this verse pertaining to temptation or when going through a hard time. But this verse also has an element of accomplishing the things that we need to accomplish.  Big or small.

God has such an abundance of grace that His throne is called "Throne of Grace" (look at verse 16 again)  I must say that I have not gone to the throne to get all the grace I have needed in the past!     But..... watch me get every bit I can from here on out!

Thank You God for Your grace!!!  (Grace please!!!!!!   :-)       )

My mantra for today.. "I'll have grace with that!"

Grace is represented by the manna that the children of Israel were given in the Book of Exodus while they traveled through the desert. They didn't work for it. They were given it. They were given just enough for the day. They couldn't keep it from yesterday because it would rot. They couldn't gather extra for tomorrow. There was just enough for today.

So... I am going to get enough for today.... but I'm going back for seconds!!!!! (and thirds)!

Why I Do Selfies!

Why I Do Selfies?

I hate them for myself.  I enjoy other people's selfies.   Just a few minutes ago I shared a picture from my senior year posted by Cheryl Fuchs.  OMG!   LOL!  I know!  Everybody is thinking... "finally.... the prankster is getting pranked!"

But, I read a story one time written by a lady who's mum (I've always wanted to use that word.... and it seems appropriate at six in the morning) had died.   They were gathering memories  and pictures to make a memorial display at the funeral.   They had very few pictures because their mum ( :-) ) hated to have her picture taken.   They were saddened that they didn't have more pictures to share with others as they came through to show their respect.  I decided that this was not going to be me.... so I make myself take selfies. 

I do not like this picture I took but we had so much fun on this adventure and I want my kids to remember this... and for their hearts to be warmed when..... I'M IN THE FREAKING NURSING HOME AND THEY DON'T COME TO VISIT!  ..... whoops.... I digress (cue music)

My 30 year college reunion is coming up in July.   We have been chatting back and forth getting ready for it.   I know my classmates are looking at my facebook page thinking,  "hmmmm... something's different!"  Let me assure you.... It's me!

So... today. .. I challenge you!   Take a selfie today! Post it on my page.  Then start taking selfies everyday!   Let your friends and family have some laughs at your funeral..... and maybe even today!  

Hey...  I declare this "Fro Back Friday!" 

Start clicking.  :-)

Have a great day!