Wow... never thought this day would arrive!
A day where I would be thankful for experiencing the darkest time in my life. It has been 14 years in the making... but... it has come!
I won't go into details.... most of you know some of my story. If you don't and want to know.... ask. So dark were these years for me that there were times I wondered and I know my wife wondered if I would make it out alive. I wanted it to just end so many times. What I thought was my lowest time got even lower when I looked around and realized that those that I thought had my back...... didn't. What a shock! And boy.... when I hit rock bottom...... those rocks were hard..... and they hurt.... and they broke me. I have been walking around a broken man for many, many years.
Now... I say all that to say this..... I have learned the greatest lesson in my life through all this. God is for me!
When He said He would never leave me... I have found.... IT'S TRUE! He is that friend that sticks closer than a brother! Psalm 27:10 says EVEN... if my mother and father abandon me.... God will take care of me.
Sometimes it is not our mother and father that abandon us..... Sometimes it is family and friends! But God!!!!! God will take care of me! BUT GOD!!!! God will take care of you!
I still deal with depression. I still deal with loneliness. It would take me days to get to a "good place" again when I went through this. I would frantically look for answers in any place I could find them. To only give up hours later and just go to bed from mere exhaustion.
Now... my FIRST recourse is to go to God. First thing when I wake up, I go to God. Not out of duty or religious obligation. I go because He is my source and my strength. He is the One who helps me make sense out of all the craziness in this life. I steal away many times throughout the day to talk to Him for a few minutes. In fact,... I am typing this little blog right in the middle of one of those times with Him. (By the way... He says hi.... and wants to remind you that He loves you and that He'll talk to you later) :-)
I remain a broken man.... maybe never to be fixed. But I have learned that in my weakness... He is my strength. I have experienced what Paul says in Philippians 4:13 that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
The dust has cleared. The bitterness gone. The abandonment experienced many years ago has resulted in me finding my true source of strength and the only One who will never leave me. The only One we all can really count on! For that.......... I am thankful!
Be blessed!
Your brother,
Kevo
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