I Want To Always Be Needy

The Storm From Nowhere

1 / 1 / 19
As I become more sensitive the inner moving's deep inside me I am aware of the frequent changes of the inner atmosphere.
I notice these sudden changes
In my inner atmosphere... Where fro nowhere a sense of anxiety will rise up inside of me. . I have heard of people talk of these kind of things.. But i didn't think I had experienced it.. But i can see... That yes.. I do experience it.  And I always have just taken that as a change in my emotional state.. Or that something spiritual had taken place..   Or a fear that a depression was coming on.. Now.. Just like I have counseled people who have had these anxiety attacks... Now.. I can counsel myself to not be so freaked out when these storms rise up all of a sudden inside of me... I need to recognize them quickly.  Not be afraid of any damage that might be brought on.  Any damage, would be the result of damage done by a riot that is stirred up in trhhing to flee an otherwise small skirmish. So many times in the past what was only a small skirmish.. Because of my over reaction.. I have created so much damage.  Perhaps the beginnings of a grudge.  Or a fit of silence towards someone who I took offence at.  Perhaps I treated the unrest in me with things that were more damaging than the storm itself... Eating.. Drink... Laying in bed that might lead to further deeper depression..   Putting off doing important duties.

Well... Now that I am staring to recognize those tiny skirmishes for what they are.. I will choose to not react.  But to allow the storm to pass.  To relax and know who can and will calm the storm. And that I, as a believer in Christ can weather any storm with my hand in His.

God Will Not Put On Us More Then We Can Handle---FALSE!!!

 We have always heard that God will not put more on you than you can handle.  This is not true! 

First of all... why does God get blamed  for everything?  As people like to say... life happens!

But....

One of God's goals for our lives is for us to have faith in Him. To learn to depend on Him because without faith.... it's impossible to please Him. If He just gives us enough to the point where we can handle it on our own.... that does not develop faith in us. That does not cause us to rely on Him. That just teaches us to rely on ourselves.! When God allows us  to face MORE than we can handle... this makes us desperately turn to Him and surrender it to Him... forcing us to have faith in Him and not ourselves

How many times have you faced situations and circumstances that were way over your head.  Those events made you have to so desperately surrender to Him... knowing that if He did not come through, you would not survive.

The lesson that God is trying to teach us in these very difficult situations is to acknowledge Him in all our ways. Not just the big overwhelming problems that we can't handle, but He wants to be involved in the smallest considerations.  If we learn to eventually acknowledge Him in the small things, it will be that much easier to knowledge and trust Hm in the big things that we face. 

Trust Him!

spirit of fear

Habits are hard to change and reverse.

I am so accustomed to allowing a spirit of fear to just come up... knock on my door... and walk on in... No longer!!!! Oh... and don't try to come in the back door or a window... I recognize you now... those little knots that come in my stomach for no reason... yep.... I know that's you!!!

My God has not given me a spirit of fear... but of power, love and a sound mind!!! I refuse to open the door to anything but those!

Kevin Elliott

Timothy 1:7. God hath not given us a spirit of fear;

The Bible says that fear is a spirit!

Don't let that thing in your life! Refuse to listen to it! Refuse to give in to it! In fact, if God wants you to do something, go ahead and do the very thing you're afraid of!

Fear hath torment! 1st John 4:18

The Battle Rages On

The Battle Rages On

You might not be aware of it.... but there is a battle going on all around you.  I dare to say that the battle even crosses over the boarder of your skin and there are skirmishes right inside your own personal space.  

Now.. I would dare to say that most of us don't deal with the "big" battles of darkness such as stealing, killing, drugs, sex to name a few.  But we are still being assaulted from every angle just the same.  We just might not recognize it as an assault.  

Paul told us what the domain of God was.. in Romans 14:17.  He said it was righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost.   Wherever the Kingdom of God is in control.. this is what it looks like.

So... let me ask you this.  What is reigning in your life?  If it is not righteousness (that is right relationship with God), peace and joy. then you my friend are under attack.. and I might say... under seige.

Webster defines seige as: a military operation in which enemy forces surround a town or building, cutting off essential supplies, with the aim of compelling the surrender of those inside.


Hmmmmm. sound or FEEL familiar?

So, it is probably safe to say that you are involved in an outright war.  Still you might say.. but.. it is only a small thing.... nothing like the BIG battles of stealing, killing, etc.. but our enemy is sly..  He knows that...... if he can wear you down from these small little battles.. and separate you from the Father.... and then separate you from your brothers and sisters.. that THEN..... he can then start battling you on the BIGGER fronts.... and ultimately destroy your life.

A worry here..... a doubt there..... not dealt with... will cause a separation in your heart towards God and His church.  Then.. from there...hatred, bitterness, addiction, anxiety.... and the battles are endless.

How do I know?  Well.... I would like to say that I have seen it in so many other people.... BUT!!!!!  I have experienced it first hand.  Many years I suffered assault from the enemy with THE BIG BATTLES.   But, looking back... it started with the small assaults.

Don't ignore the small little assaults and insults from the enemy.  A small doubt...  a little grudge.  don't put up with it!!!!  Get rid of it.

I could write pages on methods of warfare.. but the #1 way to combat this?  A frequent conversation with God.  I know that this is difficult.....   We have to discipline ourselves to do this.  Set your watch, phone, timer.. to go off every hour to remind us to have a conversation with God. After months of practicing that.. then set the timer for every 30 minutes.    

1 Peter 5:8 says Be sober, be vigilant; because[a] your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

Let me paraphrase... Hey!!! Wake up!!! Watch out!!! Set your alarm on your phone to remind yourself to do this. because.. your enemy is studying you and trying to figure out anyway he can to destroy you... He does not rest.  

Set that alarm.  Keep a constant conversation going with God.  If you feel fear.  If you feel anxiety.... realize that the enemy is up to his trickery again! 

When I Feel Forsaken

Wow... never thought this day would arrive!  

A day where I would be thankful for experiencing the darkest time in my life.  It has been 14 years in the making... but... it has come!

I won't go into details.... most of you know some of my story.   If you don't and want to know.... ask.  So dark were these years for me that there were times I wondered and I know my wife wondered if I would make it out alive.  I wanted it to just end so many times.  What I thought was my lowest time got even lower when I looked around and realized that those that I thought had my back...... didn't.    What a shock!   And boy.... when I hit rock bottom...... those rocks were hard..... and they hurt.... and they broke me.    I have been walking around a broken man for many, many years.

Now... I say all that to say this..... I have learned the greatest lesson in my life through all this.  God is for me!

When He said He would never leave me... I have found.... IT'S TRUE!    He is that friend that sticks closer than a brother!  Psalm 27:10 says   EVEN... if my mother and father abandon me.... God will take care of me.  

Sometimes it is not our mother and father that abandon us..... Sometimes it is family and friends!  But God!!!!!  God will take care of me!  BUT GOD!!!! God will take care of you!

I still deal with depression.  I still deal with loneliness.  It would take me days to get to a "good place" again when I went through this.  I would frantically look for answers in any place I could find them.  To only give up hours later and just go to bed from mere exhaustion.  

Now... my FIRST recourse is to go to God.  First thing when I wake up, I go to God.  Not out of duty or religious obligation.  I go because He is my source and my strength.  He is the One who helps me make sense out of all the craziness in this life.    I steal away many times throughout the day to talk to Him for a few minutes.   In fact,... I am typing this little blog right in the middle of one of those times with Him.  (By the way... He says hi.... and wants to remind you that He loves you and that He'll talk to you later)     :-)

I remain a broken man.... maybe never to be fixed.  But I have learned that in my weakness... He is my strength.    I have experienced what Paul says in Philippians 4:13 that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  

The dust has cleared.  The bitterness gone.  The abandonment experienced many years ago has resulted in me finding my true source of strength and the only One who will never leave me.  The only One we all can really count on!   For that.......... I am thankful!

Be blessed!

Your brother,

Kevo