11/12/23 9am
The short version:
#OneStepWait
This is a mantra that I have coined that has helped me deal with my neediness and angst when it comes to relationships. This is such a simple concept and I will keep it short for now for the sake of conveying this simple truth.
#OneStepWait is like playing a game or learning to dance. A simple principle when applied helps us navigate the workings of new and existing relationships.
1 If there is a person that you are possibly interested in pursuing a relationship with (either platonic or romantic)... take the first step. It can be a small step. Perhaps just click "like" on one of the Facebook posts. Wait a few days. You probably won't get any response from just a "like". But a few days later.. like another post. Next. perhaps comment one of their posts or better yet... ask them a question on one of their posts. Wait.. see if they like or comment on your question/comment. It they don't repspond to your post. Take that as first sign that perhaps you aren't meant to be connected to that person. Perhaps wait a few weeks and then try this again. If still no response... again consider that this might not be a connection for you. There are other ways that you can show them you are interested. But.. anything you do.... ALLOW THEM TIME TO RESPOND. Moving slowly like this will help you not invest too much time and energy into something that will come to nothing. Moving slowly will also build in an automatic mechanism that will keep your heart from getting too involved and prevent heartache down the road.
2 Even in existing relationships... this #OneStepWait is healthy. Let's say I want to draw closer to my wife.. so I might ask her, "Let's go for a walk." She doesn't want to walk. So, instead of suggesting other things to do.. I wait.. I see.. if she gets it that I want to draw close to her. I will see if she will take a step towards me. If she does not.. then.. I will probably go find something to do.. or find a friend to go hang out with. This is just a simple example. But we have to be sensitive and honor the ebb and flow of our relationships in order not to "crowd" others.. but also keep disappointment, hurt, anger from creeping into our own hearts.
***This is a really rough article.. but wanted to get something written down so I could get it out there.. *****
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